I just finished reading "Leadership and Self-Deception" by The Arbinger Institute. It seems to be the latest in several books I have read where I felt like I only would have really needed to read the last few chapters.

The title of this book is a bit deceiving but it is really a pretty powerful analysis of relationships between individuals and then also how those relationships can affect group dynamics. If you ever feel yourself thinking badly of anyone in your life -- co-worker, spouse, child, parent, sibling -- (and who amongst us doesn't from time to time), I think you will be amazed by the insights this book provides on how to change our thinking and get over barriers to rebuild those relationships.

It forces an inward look, causing us to get away from placing all the blame and responsibility for failed relationships on the other person. By stepping away from that, and breaking the communication patterns that stem from that thinking, you open up the possibility of new and much better future relationships. In essence, the low expectations and opinions we build of others result in self-fulfilling prophecies because we deny our instincts of how relationships should really be and how we should really treat others and we start resisting those individuals rather than accepting them and inviting them in ways that will foster better relationships.

It sounds a bit complex but this book makes it all easy to understand through a fictional story format. I have certainly learned a lot about myself and how I contribute to the troubled relationships in my life.

Ultimately, I think you need to read the entire book but you will find that you can "skim" a bit until Chapter 14 when you really need to start paying attention through to the end of the book.

Post back here if you read the book and let me know what you think. "HeyJules," a friend from the blogosphere who comments on my site occasionally, has even said that her church used this book as a basis for a sermon series.