Wednesday, January 17, 2007
I must have woken up this morning feeling rather "curmudgeonly" (aka "surly"). I saw a couple of headline news stories that really bothered me.

Did you see the story about the skunk from California that apparently stowed away on a truck and ended up in Canada? If I opened up a truck and found a skunk inside, one of two things would happen. I would most likely back away from the truck and encourage the critter to leave. The other thing that I might do is look for an easy way to kill the animal. I mean, let's face it. Skunks are cute but they are pretty much nuisances. Please don't get upset with me. I love animals but sometimes you do have to exterminate ones that are nuisances. Many skunks carry rabies. Additionally, the average wild skunk lives only about three years.

Well, in the case of our California skunk transplanted in Canada, there has been concern that it will not survive in Canada. Most Californians apparently do poorly in Canada. So, they do not want to let it loose. I have read that only in the movie "Bambi" do skunks hibernate. Real skunks do not hibernate. But they will eat quiche and spray you later if given the opportunity. Perhaps if this skunk had a nice fur coat to keep it warm in the Canadian winters ... oh, wait, I guess it does.

They also do not want to kill the skunk in Canada. Perhaps there are laws against killing skunks in Canada. Maybe that is why my ex-wife moved there. (Just kidding. I do not have an ex-wife. I have a wonderful and lovely wife who I am very happy doesn't live in Canada. Not that there's anything wrong with living in Canada. It's just that I don't live there and well, I'd miss her if she lived there and I didn't.)

So now the issue is how to transport the skunk back to California. I am easily picturing that it will probably cost a few thousand dollars to accomplish that. I am not sure from whose pocket that money will come. It could create tensions between the US and Canada. Who should be responsible for the cost? The skunk is a US citizen.

In any event, it bothers me greatly that chances are several thousand dollars will be consumed in moving a smelly and bothersome critter from Canada to California. A critter that will only live a couple more years at best anyway. It seems that, in the state our world is in, there are far better uses for that money.

Perhaps a Canadian zoo will step up to the plate. The US will probably end up paying "skunk support" payments but that will be okay. Domesticated skunks can live up to 20 years though. Some folks de-scent skunks and keep them as pets. Benjamin Franklin had a pet skunk. (I made that up. I was trying to think of the name of a famous Canadian but I couldn't come up with anyone except Michael J. Fox and it seems hard to believe that he would have ever owned a skunk. Benjamin Franklin on the other hand ...)

Perhaps some nice Canadian family will officially adopt the skunk. I suspect that skunks like back bacon and donuts.

Okay ... for the other story I saw that bothered me ...

Brad and Angelina have fallen in love with New Orleans. To show support for the people there and the rebuilding of New Orleans, they are buying a home in the French Quarter. It will be the fourth home they have but apparently they intend for it to be their primary home. It is a $3.4 million mansion. Apparently nothing says I love you and care about you more to a grief-stricken underprivileged person than buying a $3.4 million mansion next to them and then telling them that you can now relate to them.

I know that Brad and Angelina have done a lot of good and raised a lot of awareness of bad situations but I am still bothered by this. Perhaps they would like to adopt an underprivileged California skunk from Canada. Now there's an idea.

  posted at 8:58 PM  

At 8:58 AM, Blogger HeyJules said...

Feel free to be curmudgeonly more often; I think it agrees with you.

(Great post!)

At 5:26 PM, Blogger Todd R. said...

Qu'est-il avec toi et le Canada ?

(What is it with you and Canada?)

I think there is some reconciliation that needs to take place between you and our neighbors in the Great White North. You need to reach out and give Canada a big ol' maple leaf sized bear hug.

Repeat after me--
"Le Canada n'est pas aussi mauvais"
("Canada isn't so bad")

"Les Canadiens sont nos amis!"
("Canadians are our friends!")

"Le pew du california et les Canadiens peuvent vivre ensemble dans la paix et l'harmonie!"

("California skunks and Canadians can live together in peace and harmony!")

Okay, I doctored that last one a bit. Reminded me of old Pepe Le Pew cartoons....


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Todd M


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