Okay, this has been an odd experience. I do not necessarily "feel" the following words for myself right now but in the past few hours, God spoke them to and told me to write them. He didn't do it with a loud, booming voice. He actually sounded a bit like Woody Allen. Just kidding ... he just placed these words on my heart and told me to blog them, so here they are. I hope they reach and touch whoever they are intended for.

Lord, why do you keep pounding away at me?

Like a sculptor, are you chipping away at a rock
blow after painful blow,
hoping to reveal something beautiful and worthy inside?

If so, therein lies the problem I believe
As I do not know that there is any beauty inside.

But if I do not believe that there is beauty inside
then strike after strike,
am I not denying your very existence?

How am I to react to this refining and shaping?
Am I to just accept it and carry on with my life,
letting things work out over time?

Am I to ignore it best I can,
becoming numb to each strike of the hammer?

Am I to wince each time the chisel chips,
holding it as memory of change and shaping?

I think I know what the answer is supposed to be
but sometimes I grow tired of this process.

Sometimes I wince before the hammer even strikes,
just thinking of my need for additional painful growth.

But ultimately, I thank you, Lord.
I thank you for loving me enough,
for so wanting me to be a part of your plan,
that your chiseling of refinement
continually seeks the beauty inside
that I myself just don't see.