I remember the joy that was mine when I first heard that our friends' hermit crabs would be visiting us for an extended stay during the holiday season. Nothing says "joy, love, and charity" more than a houseful of hermit crabs, I kept thinking. I envisioned walks in the park with them, building snowmen as the crabs frolic about at our feet, making Christmas cookies together, decorating the tree, watching the crabs for hours play at their scratching post, having them roll over and gaze longingly at me for a belly rub, having them hop into my lap whenever I sit on the couch, perhaps even a swim together an a local indoor pool as I grab hold of their dorsal fins and get pulled around.

But, as it turns out, they aren't called "hermits" for no reason. Our friends told us that they are "shy". I'd say that, during their time here, they have regressed from shy right into catatonic. We're pretty sure that they never eat, despite the fact that their food says they should eat a teaspoon each day.

Oh, the pity of it all. Dashed are my dreams ... I just hope the crabs don't die ... I am not quite sure how we will know if they do.