There was a pretty long line at the McDonald's drive-thru this morning but I needed my coffee so I got in line anyway. As we sing at home, copying Ralph's World, "D-A-D-D-Y needs C-O-F-F-E-E." It's been a long time since Evan called me "Daddy" though. It's pretty much "Dad" these days, with the occasional "Dude" thrown in for good measure.

Anyway, I like coffee in the morning. I do not get a big caffeine rush from it. Well, at least I don't think I do. If I do, then I have to say I'd be really tired without the coffee. It's more just that coffee is part of my routine. I enjoy its smell and even its taste.

Usually I make my own coffee at home but yesterday I had left my coffee cup at work at the end of the day so I couldn't make my own today, necessitating the trip to McDonalds. Yes, we usually have coffee at my office but, with all apologies to my co-workers, they all make really crappy coffee. Except for Tom. But he's in a different building than me. (Yes, even Tim, my co-worker who drinks coffee by the pickle bucket-full, makes crappy coffee.)

Oh well, maybe it's the beans.

Anyway, big line at McDonalds this morning. I got in it anyway. I needed my coffee.

I get up to the little order screen and place my order for a medium black coffee. Here's how that conversation played out:

"I'm sorry, we don't have any coffee today."

No explanation that all the world coffee beans are infected with e coli. No explanation that Juan Valdez fell into a pit of vipers. No explanation that they would have coffee in five minutes, five hours, five days, or even five years.

Just a simple "I'm sorry, we don't have any coffee today."

My response was "You don't have any coffee?" I am thinking maybe this is some sort of a twisted early morning joke. Or maybe I am on Candid Camera.

But her response came back, "That's correct."

Hmmmm. Long pause on my part. Perhaps the rapture had come, I had missed it, and somehow gotten left behind with really odd people who don't understand the value of a cup of morning coffee.

I was at a loss for words. I didn't know what to say or do.

Well, here's the rest of the story. I actually had ordered a Cinnamon Melt as well. I was feeling very guilty about ordering that but I had done so on the basis that I had only had a small cup of yogurt for breakfast at home and I had to tape a couple of television shows later in the morning and there's nothing worse than wearing a lapel microphone and having your stomach start growling. So, I figured I needed something more in my tummy.

I was faced with a choice -- give in to my ever-increasing guilt and get the Cinnamon Melt without the coffee ... or just skip the whole thing.

I decided to skip the whole thing, get out of line, and go to work. I'll make coffee in my office today.