Many people who know me will also know her but I have a friend who collects frogs. She likes frogs because of their acronym -- Fully Rely On God. A cancer survivor, she has "been there" ... she undoubtedly has felt that brokenness when God was all she had.

And it's a nice saying, isn't it -- Fully Rely On God? Look to God for your every move. It's a nice thought and, really, I have seen people who at least from all appearances seem to do a decent job of living out that idea. But I wonder how many of us really reach that point in our lives. I know that I still struggle for control ... struggle to make my own decisions, make my own way.

There is, I think, less courage involved in trying to do things on our own rather than with complete reliance on God. The outcome probably won't be as good, and certainly won't accomplish God's wishes, but there is less courage involved.

I received the following email from Os Hillman today -- pretty relevant stuff to this subject:

There is a requirement to be blessed at a deeper spiritual level by God. Christ requires it of each of His servants. He required it of Paul when He struck him down on the Damascus Road. He required it of Joseph when he was left in the pit and then sold into slavery. He required it of Jacob when he left his homeland penniless and needy. He required it of most every major leader that He used significantly - brokenness.

Brokenness cannot be achieved on your own. It is something God does Himself. We cannot determine that we are going to be broken, but we can refuse to become broken. When God begins this deeper work in our lives, we can kick and scream and refuse the process. We can manipulate and strive to stay on top, but this only delays His work.

Pride and mammon are ruling strongholds of the workplace. Brokenness is considered a weak position in the workplace. However, God says until we are broken we cannot be an aroma pleasing to the Lord. God wants you to be an aroma in the workplace. In order for this to happen, you and I must be a broken vessel in His hand. Pray that God would allow you to become a pleasing aroma to Him no matter the cost.

It seems like lately I am going through a period of complete overwhelm. I have over-extended myself and don't know where to start to try to pull myself out. I keep searching for different angles and different solutions but they all just seem to lead to more frustration, more feelings of being overwhelmed, and even less being accomplished.

"But God can't get these things done; I have to do them," I say to myself. But yet I can't ... I continue to wallow in self pity and despair and things just keep mounting.

I keep thinking it would be nice to have a sabbatical. If only I could get rested up for a few months -- then I could come back refreshed, plow through things, and things would be better from then on out.

But what is a "sabbatical"? Originally it referred to a time of Sabbath -- a time set aside for rest and communion with God.

I must confess, that sounds nice ... but it also doesn't sound like a way to get the work done.

Somewhere in there, I know, is the mystery of God. He is the one who will refresh and restore me ... if I only turn to Him and allow Him to do so. Once I hit the point of where I do turn it all over to Him -- including all of these projects and things before me, He will provide the strength and encouragement and wisdom and inspiration to see that they are completed.

The question is, when will I hit that point of truly determining that I am not the one to be in control -- God is?