Thursday, August 31, 2006
Larry Lobster and Sam Clam spent a lot of time together when they lived on the ocean floor. They were the best of friends. Until one day when (drumroll please) they were both killed in a car crash as they were riding home from a surf and turf dinner.

Well, Larry had lived a pretty good life and he soon found himself in heaven. Sam Clam, on the other hand, had lived a life full of indiscretions. He found himself in, well, "the other place".

Larry really liked heaven. He was a model citizen. He quickly earned his wings and took up harp as an instrument to play. He was, in fact, one of the best harpists in all of heaven.

One day, God came to Larry Lobster and said, "You know, Larry, you're a pretty good crustacean. We really like you around here. In fact, I'd like to grant you a wish. If you could have anything at all, what would it be?"

Well, Larry was pretty astounded by having God approach him like this. He thought about it for several seconds and finally said, "You know what, God ... I really miss my old friend, Sam. I know that he went to "the other place" but do you think there is any way at all that I could go visit him for a day?"

God stroked his beard thoughtfully. "Well, that is an unusual request, Larry," He said. With a twinkle in His eye, though, He continued, "But I understand the value of relationships and I think that we could arrange this. Yes, tomorrow, you can go visit your old friend, Sam. You can leave first thing in the morning but, I must warn you -- if you're not back here by midnight, the devil is going to keep you in his place."

"Oh wow, thank you, God! This will be just swell," Larry exclaimed.

Larry was so excited. He could barely sleep that night. The next morning, he got up at the crack of dawn, grabbed his harp, and ran to the elevator. Once he was on the elevator, he looked at all of the buttons and finally, down in the lower right corner, he saw it -- the bright red "Go To Hell" button. He pushed it and the elevator went down, down, down ... to the ring of fire.

Finally, it stopped and Larry got off the elevator and began wandering around hell. He couldn't find Sam anywhere. Hell was a rather busy place (unfortunately). Larry finally stopped and asked Fannie Fish -- "I used to have a really good friend named Sam Clam and I have heard he's somewhere around these parts. Do you know him by any chance?"

"Why, sure!" Fannie said. "Everyone knows Sam. He's a super guy and real popular, too!"

"Well, where might I find him?" Larry asked.

"Why, he owns the local disco. You'll find him there. Just go down this street, turn left at the fire hydrant, and his place will be on your right."

"Thanks so much," gushed Larry. "I owe you one!" And he set off down the street to find Sam.

Larry quickly found Sam at his disco. Sam was absolutely elated to see him and to show him around. They talked a lot about the old days together and just generally had a great time. Larry even played his harp for Sam. "That's some mighty fine harp playing," Sam said.

They were having such a good time together that Larry lost track of time when he suddenly realized that it was just a couple of minutes before midnight. Well, as much as he enjoyed visiting with Sam, Larry really wanted to get back home. So, he dropped everything, shouted a quick good-bye to his old chum, Sam, and ran for the elevator.

He got into the elevator just as the clock was chiming midnight. He pushed the "Go To Heaven" button and he was whisked quickly upward. Once he was in heaven, he got off the elevator, walked home, and slept very well that night.

The next morning, Larry was out for his daily walk and he ran into God who said, "Why hello there, little fellow. Did you have a nice time visiting with Sam?"

"Oh God, it's so good to see you. Why, yes, we had a great time visiting. Thank you so much for granting me that wish," Larry said.

God replied, "What did you do all day? I heard you when you came back -- it was pretty late."

"Oh, we talked a lot about old times. We enjoyed barbecue for lunch ... and dinner. And, after dinner, I even played my harp for Sam! I really lost track of time and had to drop everything and run as fast as I could to make it back to the elevator before midnight"

And, at that, Larry slapped his claw to his forehead and exclaimed, "OH NO! I Left My Harp In Sam Clam's Disco!"

  posted at 9:03 PM  

At 4:14 PM, Blogger HeyJules said...

I'm ashamed to say I never saw that coming! Oh Todd, this joke is going to make my father's day! He and I love a really, REALLY bad pun. :-)

At 4:15 PM, Blogger HeyJules said...

I'm ashamed to say I never saw that coming! Oh Todd, this joke is going to make my father's day! He and I love a really, REALLY bad pun. :-)

At 7:45 PM, Blogger Todd M said...

That is one of my favorite jokes of all time. People usually just stare at me when I tell it but that's okay.


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Todd M


An ordinary guy. A wife I love very much. A great son. Wonderful friends. A metal roofing business and a sales training business. A loving church family. A few trade associations. A Christian school. And a four-pound poodle. Just trying to follow God and see where He leads.

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