Lisa and I recently attended my 25-year class reunion. At dinner that evening, there was a woman sitting by herself doing nothing but enjoying one "adult beverage" after another. Lisa asked me, "Isn't that your old girlfriend?"

To which I replied, "Yes, it is. Sadly, I have heard that she started drinking after we broke up and she's never quit. I feel a bit guilty about it."

To which Lisa replied, "My goodness. Who would ever guess that a person would go on celebrating that long?"

(sorry ... this is entirely made up)