"Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should. Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone." (Colossians 4:2-6, NIV)

I wrote some about it yesterday but I think that, as we return to our "normal" lives, all of us who spent last week in Tijuana studying the human trafficking issue will be dealing with a couple of the same things.

First is what role is God calling us to in all of this? The other thing I think we will be dealing with is guilt -- who are we that we should live lives so far different from the others we saw involved in ministering to the various situations in Tijuana? I have really been struggling with that this weekend. Immediately upon my return from Tijuana, I was able to get away for a nice weekend with my family. Unfortunately, that is not so easy for ministry folks in Tijuana who often find that, if they're not there, their ministry is disrupted.

Lots of thoughts go through my head ...

To whom much is given, much is expected.

God blesses those who serve Him well.

It takes all types to make up the unified Body.

God holds us and brings us to the points from where He expects us to do ministry.

God has gifted us all individually.

But, as I think about these things, it is hard to distinguish thoughts pertaining to them that are truly of God from thoughts that are just my own sinful nature trying to justify where I am at and what I am doing. If you look at any of my thoughts, you can clearly see not only a spiritual slant but a selfish slant as well.

Of course, the guilt that wracks me since the trip pertains to my question of "Why should I be so blessed?" But what I am referring to with that are what we perceive as "blessings" according to man's view. As we saw last week in Tijuana, those who are truly living 100% out of that spot where they have given it all up and God is the only thing sustaining them ... well, they have a much different view of what "blessings" really are.

Yes, I am much blessed in the eyes of man but maybe they are entirely different kinds of blessings that God offers us. The things that, in man's eyes are "blessings" actually may be curses in God's eyes, evil things designed to distract us and pull us off task to accomplish His work. While I look at folks doing ministry in Tijuana and feel they are trapped in horrible situations, perhaps it is actually I who am the trapped one -- trapped by the things of man that keep me from living the life God intended.

I like the Colossians 4 scripture above because I do believe that God opens doors for us to do ministry from wherever we're at. We need to always be prepared to separate ourselves from wherever we're at in life and do that ministry.

From a personal standpoint, as I continue to reflect on my time in Tijuana, there is one recurring theme which keeps coming to me and that is that the current situation in Tijuana is a story which must be told. We cannot be a body united for common cause there until the story is out -- until God has reached those He is calling to this area of the world and to these issues with a common message and common information that has left them burdened and equipped to act.

For now, though, as in Colossians 4:2, I think the key is in devoting ourselves to prayer, remaining watchful ... and thankful .. and wondering what "blessings" really are ... what "blessings" are actually things we need to escape.