Ever since a book came out on this subject a couple of years ago, there has been a lot of discussion given as to why more men aren't in church. I have never read the book but it is my understanding that at least one of the major assertions in the book is that churches are too feminine -- that they cater to women and kids. I think that may be a case of the chicken and the egg though. Do churches not have men because they cater instead to women and kids or do churches cater to women and kids because that is who is showing up?

I have some strong feelings on this subject but first let me say that I think it's a very worthy subject. A study done by the United Methodist Church a couple of years ago showed overwhelmingly that, in an unchurched "traditional" family, if the husband goes to church first, then there is a strong likelihood that the wife and kids will follow. If the wife and/or kids go to church first, though, well, good luck on getting daddy to follow because it probably isn't going to happen.

Now, do I think men stay away from churches because churches are too feminine? Balogna! I don't think that's the problem at all. I may not be the most manly of men but I'm also no PeeWee Herman (sorry, PeeWee), and I absolutely have never avoided church because it felt too "fufu". I have written before that churches need to be "comfortable" for the people they are trying to reach and I still feel that way but, I'm telling you, churches could be like sports bars or cigar bars or even topless bars and not one more man is going into them unless he's invited and unless he sees a need in his life that casues him to go to church.

Saying that men don't go to church because churches cater to women and kids is a convenient line of thought because it blames the problem on the institution itself. What I am saying, though, is different. I am putting the blame firmly on the shoulders of all of us who do go to church -- especially men.

I think the book also talks about the importance of small "affinity" group ministry directed to men and I am all for that. That can make it more comfortable for us to invite other men to church functions.

But, what about this ... what about spreading the Good News of God's redemptive grace to get men into church? What about talking to them about the importance of making sure their kids are in church? Studies clearly show that most Americans believe in God but yet many of those folks are not going to church. How about telling them of the importance of going to church to worship, to praise, to learn, to be trained, and to build relationships with other believers? What's wrong with that? It's intimidating, yes. Hugely intimidating to an introvert like me. But it's putting the responsibility firmly where it belongs -- on my shoulders -- rather than taking the easy route of blaming the institution of church.