It's been two years and a day I believe since Lisa's mom passed away. She was a great mother-in-law and I think of her and miss her every day.

We were blessed with about a year in between the time she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and the time she passed away. It all happened too quickly but yet it happens much more quickly for many others and we felt very fortunate.

Watching her handle her final months with peaceful bravery and quiet faith have impacted my life in a huge way. I doubt she ever really knew what an impact she had on me and on so many others.

I had the privilege of speaking a bit at her funeral with a family remembrance. I pulled it out to re-read it a couple of days ago. It's still painful but yet it fills my heart with good memories of her. And a reminder that she is happily home now and free of pain and worry.

I want to share it here, as a tribute to her.


Before I start, I’d like to share a bit of scripture which I stumbled across a few months ago and have found great comfort in. In 2 Corinthians Chapter 5, verses 1 through 8, the Apostle Paul wrote:

1For we know that when this earthly tent we live in is taken down--when we die and leave these bodies--we will have a home in heaven, an eternal body made for us by God himself and not by human hands. 2We grow weary in our present bodies, and we long for the day when we will put on our heavenly bodies like new clothing. 3For we will not be spirits without bodies, but we will put on new heavenly bodies. 4Our dying bodies make us groan and sigh, but it's not that we want to die and have no bodies at all. We want to slip into our new bodies so that these dying bodies will be swallowed up by everlasting life. 5God himself has prepared us for this, and as a guarantee he has given us his Holy Spirit.6So we are always confident, even though we know that as long as we live in these bodies we are not at home with the Lord. 7That is why we live by believing and not by seeing. 8Yes, we are fully confident, and we would rather be away from these bodies, for then we will be at home with the Lord.

I suppose that we have all heard plenty of mother-in-law jokes over the years. Some ridiculously made-up, some painfully true. However, I can assure you that no one has ever heard any from me as I had the finest mother-in-law a person could ever ask for. Sara, or “Mom B” as I sometimes called her, was truly a special person and she will be sadly missed.

I’m not sure that even Lisa knows this but her mom actually had quite a bit to do with Lisa and I getting married. You see, when Lisa and I were in the early months of dating and I was beginning to suspect that Lisa was who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, it occurred to me that girls often end up being very much like their mothers and boys often end up being very much like their dads. So, as this occurred to me, I began looking at Sara with a great deal of scrutiny. Actually, it wasn’t all that much scrutiny because it really did not take me long at all to figure out that Sara had exactly the kind of grace, wit, style, class, and engaging personality which I would like my wife to have.

Fact is, I am not sure how much Sara would like me sharing some comments about her today. She was, I would say, a person who was very comfortable inside her own skin. She never really expected compliments to be given to her and it made her a bit uncomfortable when they were. However, as we celebrate the life of someone who meant so much to us, I think it is important to etch memories of that person in our own minds. Perhaps this is my way of doing that for myself.

Sara was a very nice and friendly person who was easily engaged in conversations. In those conversations, it was always very clear that, at that moment, talking with you was the most important thing in her life. Sara had many, many friends both here and at her and George’s second home in Florida. Friends and relatives meant a great deal to her. Throughout her life, she kept adding more friends, yet she still hung dearly onto friends she’d had since childhood. I cannot tell you all enough how meaningful and cherished the hundreds of calls, cards, letters, visits, thoughts and prayers have been that she received since her diagnosis late last year. There is no doubt that it was all of you, as well as others, including Florida friends who could not be here today, who, through your kind actions and prayers, sustained Sara and kept her quality of life really quite high almost to the very end. On behalf of the family, I cannot thank you all enough for that.

Sara was always wonderfully warm toward me and welcomed me into their family right from the start when I came to date her youngest daughter even though I was a scrawny guy with big hair and lots of metal on my teeth. (Funny how that contrasts with today when I am a big guy with scrawny hair and lots of metal in my teeth!) I remember how, when Lisa and I hadn’t been dating all that long, I was at the Brockmans’ house for a meal at Easter time and, when I got to my place at the table, Sara had already included me in the family tradition of having a chocolate Easter Bunny at each of the kids’ place settings. And then, a few years ago, I remember Sara referring to me as being just like an old shoe. Because she was referring to her comfort with my place in the family, I took that as only the highest of compliments.

Sara spent much of her life helping others. She was, at various points, involved with volunteer work in the Hospital Auxiliary, here at St Johns, at their church in Florida, and elsewhere. She participated in church circle, sang in the church choir, and helped with Sunday School. She used her tremendous needlepoint and other craft skills to make items she gave to family members and donated to charity sales. She truly realized that our place here on earth is to help and support those around us. In no relationship was this more apparent than it was with her beloved George. She was always there to support him fully throughout his distinguished career and into their wonderful retirement years together.

As I think back on Sara and what she represented, there is one word which comes to mind. That word is steadfast. Merriam-Webster tells us that “steadfast” means “firm in belief and determination.” In the third verse of the 26th chapter of his book, the prophet Isaiah tells us “You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.” Because of her steadfastness, Sara was not one to hang onto the past or to dwell on misfortune. That said, she faced plenty of tough times in her life. She saw the loss of both parents and an older brother, all at relatively young ages. She saw each of her and George’s three children through significant health concerns at various points. Despite these and other things, Sara was never one to involve herself in worry or self-pity. This fact about her was never more obvious than during the past several months, when it was her strength that calmed and comforted family and friends.

Sara was steadfast in many ways. She was steadfast in her determination to raise strong and successful children. So steadfast that, though I am not sure of the validity of this, there’s a story of her following a certain young son to school with a menacing yardstick one day when he wasn’t overly inclined to go to school without a little extra motivation. She was steadfast about the beautiful flowers and shrubs she always kept around her homes; she knew that Miracle-Gro once every week would do the trick. Although because I am not a golfer, I never had the privilege of seeing this first-hand, I am told that she was steadfast in her golf game, becoming a very good player, even with a hole in one. And I would also suspect that she was steadfast in making sure that her playing partners kept correct scores. She was steadfast a number of years ago when she and George took ballroom dancing lessons together and they learned to dance together so beautifully.

She was steadfast in her cooking – knowing exactly how to prepare wonderful family meals. Although I learned long ago that she would never take me up on my offers to help in the kitchen, I kept offering over the years but Sara stayed steadfast, declining my help. Of course, maybe that was because knowledge of my lack of culinary skills preceded me. Unfortunately, I am afraid that my family may have to go back to eating undercooked chicken and burnt burgers because, when we had family cook-outs at our house, Sara was the one I always turned to who could tell me exactly how long to pre-heat the grill and exactly how long to cook the meat on each side. Many of you may not know this but, a few years ago, Sara even taught a couple of sessions of Homemade Noodle-Making School for her friends. I have no doubt that her pupils saw her steadfastness in those classes as they learned the exact measurements and preparation methods. Yes, Sara was steadfast, even in how to load a dishwasher or make a bed. She knew how to do things so they would turn out “just right” and that is precisely what she always did.

And she was steadfast in her faith. As we watched the final months of her life play out, it was almost like watching someone who was sitting through an action-packed movie for the twentieth time. Because of her faith in God, Sara knew exactly how things would be in the end and nothing altered her steadfast calmness and exquisite grace during her final times here on earth.

I remember the way that Sara would sort of turn up her lip, twist her face, and back away if you said something about something she didn’t like. The mention of raisins or beets would do that to her, as I recall. And I remember how, sometimes, words and syllables would get a bit twisted as they made their way from her brain to her mouth. I remember her once mentioning the famous director who directed such great films as Jaws, ET and Indiana Jones. You know who I am talking about – Steven Speedlebug, as Sara said. And I remember another time she was telling us about some movie she called “White Cloud.” Now, to this day, I am not entirely sure what movie she was talking about but I am fairly confident it was not named after a brand of toilet tissue.

We also discovered, fairly late in her life, that Sara had a knack for dog training. She and George would keep Lisa and I’s dogs on occasion when we were on vacation and I remember how, one time when we came back from vacation, she had them trained to automatically put their necks through their leashes when she’d reach down to them. This is all despite the fact that she struggled a bit with getting their names right, re-naming them Whitey and Red instead of Chelsea and Abby whenever she watched them.

Because, when it came to humor, Sara and I always seemed to click, perhaps it’s a bit presumptuous of me to say this, but she had a very good sense of humor. I remember many times at family gatherings, if something would strike me as being funny, I could just look at Sara and we’d start laughing together, even if no one else understood what we were laughing about. She was truly a special person and I could go on and on with stories but I am afraid I have already run quite long here.

However, about the time that Sara was diagnosed with cancer, I remember hearing a contemporary Christian song called Not Home Yet for the first time. The song really struck me and I hope you don’t mind if I share a bit of it with you now. No, don’t worry, I am not going to sing.

I know there'll be a moment
I know there'll be a place
Where we will see our Saviour
And fall in His embrace
So let us not grow weary
Or too content to stay
Cause we are not home yet
Let your heart not forget
We are not home yet

George, David, Linda, Lisa, other family members and so many friends and loved ones, our beloved and steadfast Sara is now home and it is, I am certain, her fervent wish that we join her there when our time comes.